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Revelations of a Reformed Radical Dater: We Each Have Something to Offer

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Posted November 26, 2016 by tyeshamoore in Relationships

You definitely have something that attracts men to you, whether it is your intellect or your figure. Over time, I have learned the two may be successfully balanced. No man wants a woman he feels is stupid for any sort of extended time. I have also learned being a Smart Alec also can take its toll. What I advise is being yourself. You appear as disingenuous as were behaving when you pretend and may endure the karmic whammy for posing.

To be treated like a lady you have to look the part.

“What does that mean?” asked one sister friend, “Look the part?” I would have laughed except I recognized it was an honest plea. She did not know how a dateable woman presents herself. You may have a similar friend or you may even be that friend. Here is my opinion:

1. Put your best face forward. Men and women, though we pretend it matters less, are first visual. You have to like what you see. We know we eat with our eyes as well as palates. Why do we pretend we do not do the same with men? It almost goes without saying you must keep yourself in good health and put on your best face. -Just be gentle as you apply your make up, he still needs to be able to see the actual you.

2. Add aromatics. Keep in mind, as particular as you are about smells, so are men. A quick shower before going out and some lotion that gets you compliments can take you much further than you imagine. Even a woman who appears as if she is oozing pretty as her natural state has probably put forth an effort. She at least washes her face will a certain soap and uses a particular moisturizer.

3. Dress like a woman who wants to be admired. If you do not like how you look in a outfit or it does not make you feel pretty, the sentiments will manifest in how you project yourself to others. In other words, he can tell if you are not confident about your appearance. If you are having a planned date, dress with intentional care. You do not have to look formal but do wear colors that make you appear as vivid and dynamic as you are. If you are leaving your house to run errands, you should still look like a woman who wants to be admired. It can be more casual but do look as if you have your stuff together. It takes about the same amount of time look slumpy as to look glam. You are using the a same equation. Top+bottom+ shoe=outfit. The only difference is the quality, fit, and color of the pieces. You know you want the second look. Dress like it!

4. Smile. You have agreed to go on this date, so smile. If you are not naturally chatty, lean in as you listen. It will let him see you are quiet but still interested. No fake laughs but, if someone strikes you as funny laugh like you would with the ladies. Seeing you at ease lets him know you enjoy his company.

5. Make contact. I am not suggesting you go for the goal on the first evening of your acquaintance but touching his arm or hand will let him know you would not mind seeing more of him. Look him in the eyes. You don’t have to worry that you will stare, one of you will naturally turn at the appropriate time. I used to do the shy “look and then look away” routine but I found the confident “Yes, I am checking you out gaze” has been personally more effective. Use what works best for you.

6. Work your proximity. This is tough if you are a beginner, for you will, at some point, give off the wrong impression. I suggest moving in close but not too close. Initially, this is hard to gauge. I learned from my mistakes how to execute this with success. If I really like him and the situation permits, I will move in so I have to whisper in his ear. It is way to give some coy eye contact without seeming too forward. He knows you are teasing him a bit and should take it as an encouraging sign.

7. Be you. If you are not prissy by nature do not pretend. As well, if you are not an outdoors woman do not pretend. I do want you to be open to new experiences. –But if you despise mosquitoes, gnats, and flies and you consistently agree to go on nature hikes you hate, resentment is going to erode your relationship. Find a balance and stand firm with your non-negotiable items you find detrimental to your personal or emotional safety.

Enjoy dating. You have what it takes.


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tyeshamoore


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