Where Every Woman Has A Voice


Revelations of a Reformed Radical Dater: Preoccupied with being Occupied

Posted November 7, 2013 by tyeshamoore in Featured

Not to discredit the wonders of technology and its ability to inform and entertain, but watching a friend interact with her phone quietly made me consider if we have grown too occupied with being occupied. I cannot tell you the last time I had an outing that did not also include an electronic check-in, a social media update, and/or the now standard photo/video shoot to recap the event. I love all those things too; I tease my friends that I must approve the use of my likeness before being sent out to the cyber world. My concern is you can spend so much time documenting the fun you enjoyed but when it is time to take time invest in you, suddenly you do not have time. -No time to eat well, enjoy adequate exercise, take classes to further your goals, or even rest to replenish your body.

Some people can manage both aspects seamlessly and others of us have become preoccupied with the illusion we, our individual selves, are not worth the extra effort. You are beautiful, vibrant, and dynamic. Do your clothes agree with this statement? How about your hair? What about your appearance of health? –I say appearance because that is how most people first judge your health. Our overall sense of style has to convey we value ourselves and so should he. As women we are great employees, entrepreneurs, and leaders. We nurture and support each other in ways that almost defy reason. If you are not taking adequate care of yourself, and we both know you are slacking in some aspect, make time to preoccupied with being your best you. It does not have to be putting yourself first all the time but, do place yourself in the regular rotation as you create your priorities.

Let us not forget those who are preoccupied with having a relationship. I have met ladies who have never been single longer than a few weeks. While dating transitions may occur in that manner, far too often we lunge for the first guy who seems to adequately fill our perceived void. If you are feeling lack, emptiness, or loneliness, understand no other person can fill that for you. It may seem like it is being filled but you will grow dissatisfied with the person, wondering what changed or went wrong. Nothing. You have a part of yourself in need of healing and you will have to do the work. You may need help working through the challenge and this is where the other person’s support is most valuable. Remember others can help but you must initiate clearing your own path and healing your wounds.

Become preoccupied with being your best self. We must understand he will care because of the way you care. In the event he chooses not to care, he will give way for someone who will. You are your own best investment.

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