No, No, No, NO!
You probably have heard Dawn Penn sing it during a reggae set so you understand the emphasis and passion I am putting on these words: No, no, no, no! It could be said this is a cautionary tale of fashion woe. I urge each of you to take it seriously and not fall victim to this style travesty: feeling and, worse yet, appearing desperate. We all like being noticed but, make it for good reasons.
With summer being here, temperatures and hemlines are rising. It is to be expected the warmth of summer brings more playful outfits. This, however, is not about showing a little extra leg; it is about having the whole buffet on display, with its components better suited for a garbage can. Recently, while out at an event, I saw all manner of desperation. I knew it was bad when a group of nearby men commented on how some of the women looked ridiculous. FYI: When men find your style repulsive, you have more than exceeded the limit. Here is my list of the worse five infractions to avoid:
1. Skipping the fingertip rule. When I was in high school they sent you home if your outfit was shorter than your fingertips with your arms hanging naturally by your sides. Ladies, many of us are curvier than we were then; anything much shorter runs the risk of putting your panties on display. Truthfully, we do not want to see any of that.
2. Opting out of a strapless bra. This is just plain wrong. My grandma would like to remind you if you do not assist your breasts in being upstanding they will quickly make a long term detour south. You may not mind, but you are not just brushing up with your intended catch as you walk through crowds. –And the extra “eyes” are scaring the rest of us.
3. Bad panties. Recognizing I say this repeatedly, I am still going to say there is a panty for every occasion. Match your panties to the outfit. I am not the only person who has seen your bright, tight, ill-fitting panties through your clothes. Spare us.
4. One size too small. Recently, I have learned many ladies have not been taught to buy their clothes for the largest part of their bodies. I know you want to avoid gapping at the waist or oversized blouses; however, your garments should not appear like the seams are staging their last stand. Tailoring is the solution to having a smooth fit.
5. Exposing your muffin. It did not occur to me that belly shirts were making a serious comeback until I took a good look around the venue. Odd, cropped trapeze tops dotted the area. Wear a tank or camisole if you insist on wearing such a shirt if you are not toned. Even then, be mindful if you are considering pairing it with skinny jeans. They will force your belly into an alarmingly pronounced muffin top, further accentuating the problem area.