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The Sorting Hat

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Posted June 25, 2012 by tyeshamoore in Featured

This weekend I found myself at a young professionals gathering at a captivating lounge in Atlanta. It was one of those events were people dress in their “to be seen” garb and hope someone takes notice of their grand presence. It turned out to be a great place for people watching. While there, I noticed some entertaining male fashion trends and educated one of my sister-friends on the rules of the “sorting hat.”

As we looked around the venue, it was funny to see how many men in their effort to distinguish their appearance managed to easily fall into a grouping. The first group was the “bow ties with eighties glasses.” This image you can paint with ease. To their credit, when they began becoming aware the numbers of this group were swelling, several undid their ties to change up the look. Group II was the “fedora convention.” I love a man in a straw fedora, however, at midnight while wearing business attire is a hard look to pull. The other groups were the news boy hats, the skinny sixties ties, the picnic shirts, and the gray suits. Oddly enough, the gray suits seemed to flock together. During the night, we debated over how we felt about men in white shoes and basked in the overall ambiance.

This brings us to the events of the sorting hat. After declining an offer from one the picnic shirts to share my number, I found myself defending my stance to one of my girlfriends. We found him to be pleasant enough, though I did not see the point of extending our acquaintance. Her opinion was he and I could have been friends. My explanation was there are three basic male groups for single ladies: trying to get with you, networking friends, and family/like family. (Given enough opportunity, some of the “Like family” group may even try to shift to the first male group.)He was not trying to be an actual friend; he wanted to be my “friend.” She seemed horrified by my bluntness. My defense was I was taught this theory by a man who gets around as part of my “big talk” as a teen. As she tried to explain to me she had many male friends, we decided to test my theory. Silently, I sat as she scrolled through her close contacts on her phone. It turned out she could not find anyone that debunked my theory. This is not to say there are not exceptions, but the evidence seems stacked in my favor. Is it just me? Let me know.


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